P O S T C A R D S
life's a bitch, oh no wait, that's you!
I need a hug that results in wild sex
You should stop worrying about your weight and start worrying about your boring personality
I miss you, even when I'm not horny
Life is too short to blend in
I'm 99,9% sure I'm a Disney princess
Age is irrelevant when you have style
Wish you were beer!
Lie about your age, it's the only thing left to do
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do
To the baddest bitch I know
Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands!
You can't drink all day, if you don't start in the morning
I'm sorry, which language are you speaking? It sounds like bullshit
I thought growing old would take longer
You have a sick, twisted mind, do you want to be my friend?
I wish I was as thin as my patience
I don't have a short temper, I have a quick reaction to bullshit
I can actually hear your words being misspelled while you are speaking to me
You make me wish I had a middle finger